I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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