Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
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he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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