Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.