im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
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We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
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Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.