Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Billy Mays died!

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?

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  (303): Billy Mays died! (1-303): I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world? http://tfl.nu/rasz
  Replies (25) Good night (2269) Bad night (916)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Barsexuality is the new black.

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  (718): Barsexuality is the new black. http://tfl.nu/lc2j
  Replies (7) Good night (2540) Bad night (599)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist

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  (860): I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist http://tfl.nu/xqx0
  Replies (16) Good night (1373) Bad night (4075)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.

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  (850): I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before. http://tfl.nu/vbyg
  Replies (16) Good night (5225) Bad night (998)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.

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  (864): just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring. http://tfl.nu/qf1b
  Replies (7) Good night (3551) Bad night (1026)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.

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  (316): If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already. http://tfl.nu/vt4q
  Replies (13) Good night (2841) Bad night (972)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.

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  (712): Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now. http://tfl.nu/slxg
  Replies (12) Good night (934) Bad night (3412)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor

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  (708): seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor http://tfl.nu/2ux6
  Replies (9) Good night (845) Bad night (2398)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.

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  (772): I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do. http://tfl.nu/7vxu
  Replies (23) Good night (2783) Bad night (690)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.

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  (423): I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit. http://tfl.nu/5kq2
  Replies (11) Good night (1402) Bad night (509)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.

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  (360): you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like. http://tfl.nu/0urz
  Replies (1) Good night (509) Bad night (284)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals

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  (573): Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals http://tfl.nu/3npx
  Replies (5) Good night (732) Bad night (325)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"

  (210): View more from Texas

  I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.

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  (512): things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over" (210): I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback. http://tfl.nu/pi9n
  Replies (4) Good night (522) Bad night (269)
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  (650): View more from California

  Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge

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  (650): Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge http://tfl.nu/undc
  Replies (7) Good night (1141) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea

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  (503): I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now (503): Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea http://tfl.nu/ll9z
  Replies (5) Good night (362) Bad night (481)

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