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• (757): View more from Virginia

  then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.

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  17 Guys Share When Their Parents Found Their Porn Stash

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  how did i know this would happen?

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  The 19 Creepiest Missing Person Cases

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook

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• (408): View more from California

  Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.

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• (530): View more from California

  People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Enjoy the penises

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