playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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