from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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