I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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