i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
