Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize