I'm so fucking centered right now
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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