You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
