How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Everything about him screamed your future.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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