If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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