he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
