I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
