i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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