people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
