P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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