K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
