That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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