you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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