After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
