He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
