bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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