I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
bring money and cleavage
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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