Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
