What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
