i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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