I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
