Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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