wanna go halves on a baby?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
