one two three fourrrrnication!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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