swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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