There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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