he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
