Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
