Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
