I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize