I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
