I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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