HIV tests are more positive than that guy
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
