i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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