wrigley field is MILF paradise
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
