I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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