Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
