You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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