so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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