whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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