is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
