All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
