so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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