Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
did i just pee glitter
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize