Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How does one acquire holy water?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
