it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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