You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
