I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
