I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
