at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
