is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
