Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
